Sunday, January 22, 2012

You Get to the Crossroads Every Day

The Crossroads is a mythical place where some say you meet the devil. It represents a decision point. The fact of the matter is that we are constantly making decisions. Evil exists in this world. Many people like to believe that it is something external to ourselves. I tend to think that the Crossroads is the decision point that we come up against every day. The type of decision that you make determines if you make a 'deal with the devil' or if you decide to move forward in the direction that is based on the better part of your humanity.

You see, people destroy other people every day. When you make someone doubt themselves, by talking about someone or criticizing them, you are at the Crossroads and you have made a deal. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. When someone has apologized for doing something wrong and you bring it up again, to make them feel bad about it, to make them doubt, you are at the Crossroads again, making a deal.

I used to be a big fan of horror movies but can't seem to watch them anymore. The ones about evil always had the same element running through them. The evil entity would always try to make the victims or the protagonist doubt who he or she was based upon some past action and/or decision. The evil entity would use guilt and an ambiguous personal situation to make the person falter. "You left your mother alone to die while you were away. Your sister counted on you and you let her be placed in the asylum. You failed her. Had you walked with your little brother to school, he would still be alive today. It's your fault. "

At some point, we are all going to disappoint and let someone down. At some point, we are all not going to be able to be there for someone who may need us. That's not what I am talking about as you cannot control that. I am talking about what you can control.

I am saying that it is important to work hard to not be the reason why someone else doubts him or herself. When someone wrongs you and they apologize, let it go. To throw it in their face makes them doubt and falter in their step. Let them move on and heal, too. When you purposely make someone doubt who they are with your criticism and your reminders, you have not only made a decision at the Crossroad, you have have made a deal.

A core component of evil is self doubt. Although you may not doubt yourself, if you create a situation for another to doubt him or herself, you are adding to the evil that is in this world. Evil doesn't need to come forth large and looming ,swirling in a dust cloud, cloaked in smoke. It creeps quietly as a mouse, clothed in little words that seem harmless.

When you are at the Crossroads, make a decision to continue on your path, the right path. Don't stop and make a deal. Be meticulous with your word and honorable in your actions and decisions. You must be vigilant. Stand guard on the watchtower of your Soul, and protect yourself. You do that by protecting and helping others.

Be on guard and look for others to help and uplift. I was at TJ Maxx in town going down a side aisle. I saw a woman with beautiful creamy skin. Something told me to tell her what I thought. I stopped dead in my tracks and spun on my heel and went one aisle back. I told her, "Your skin is gorgeous." She thanked me and said she needed to hear that. I told her, "Well it's true, you are a beautiful lady." A tear dropped from her eye and she told me that she was missing her family and that she appreciated the compliment." At the Crossroads, I took the right path and made the decision to "move forward" in what I believed was the right direction, even though I literally physically went back to talk to the lady in the store.

I fail, too. I was deeply hurt by someone that I trusted and they committed an act that by anyone's standards, was wrong. But I took that and reminded the person of their mistake every chance I got. When that person was feeling good, I found a way to bring up the event, to remind the person of what they did, to impact that security and safety that person was finding within. I wanted that person to feel the discomfort that I felt by what they had done to me. At the Crossroads, it seems I made a deal, to bring doubt to another person. It doesn't matter if that was not my intent, it was the result.

The next time you get to the Crossroads, I hope you step in the right direction. Uplift those you meet on your journey whether they travel with you for a moment or a lifetime. Make the journey as beautiful as you can, bit by bit, step by step.


Amy V. said...

Beautiful post and something I needed to hear right now. Thank you so much.

chicoro said...

Thank you, Amy. I am glad you found it helpful.

greenwings23 said...

A co worker of mine mention the mistrust that she had for a family member and the experiences that you mention of feelings of hurt,betrayal etc of what she felt... well of what we all experience with friends, co workers, supervisors,and family members..The people that I feel sorry for are the ones that don't own up to their mistakes, and use people for their own personal reasons to get ahead in life, or try to destroy people to control them....those are what I call the evil people and you need to stay away from them.....greenwings23

chicoro said...

Sometimes, as in your friends situation, it is not possible to stay away from those people. As they can be our boss, our spouse, our parent or our neighbor. Hence, the lesson that we don't have control over others, only of ourselves. It's at those times, when we can't stay away from those people that we may feel frightened and cornered. That's when we may strike out. It's decision time. Although it is so very difficult, we do control ourselves and we have an opportunity to not "get someone back", but to be the bigger person.

You are so right, those folks that purposely try to hurt us are not so nice. Unfortunately, we can't control them, but we can control what we do and say.

MPB said...

HELP!!! Can you pls email me your aloevera and castor oil pre poo recipe. I only see what appears to be people's variations on the internet, and whatever mix i tried was soooo watery and drippy down my face an neck. Pls email recipe to Gracias!

NelleClark said...

Words alone, cannot convey how beautiful this post is. I recently ordered both of your books, and decided to search the internet for current pictures of you. To my unexpected, yet pleasant surprise, I came across this blog. With all the crap the internet has to offer, this site is a breath of fresh air. Lately, I've been on this quest to find inner peace, exploring various ways to empower myself; Some days are better than others. But with a post like this, I know it's attainable. Forgiveness has been my crossroad for quite some time now. Thank you for putting things into perspective regarding bringing the past up, after the person has apologized. They too, are trying to heal. However, do you have any suggestions on how to forgive when no apology or acknowledgement has been offered? Again, thank you for your words of wisdom. I dont need to see a picture to see how beautiful you are--it resonates through your writing.

chicoro said...

@NelleClark, thank you for the comments. I'm glad you liked the post. Regarding what you do if someone doesn't apologize- my recommendation is that you do the same thing. You forgive them as you control YOUR actions, not theirs. You can't make someone give an apology. But YOU can forgive them. Forgiveness is for your benefit. It keeps you 2 steps away from bitterness. Bitterness is not ugly because someone else caused it. It is ugly because it is visible in the Soul and on the face of the person carrying the bitterness. It's about beautifying yourself bit by bit, and bitterness is definitely a beauty killer- on the inside and the outside.

Vânia Santacatarina said...

-Olá! Você tem canal no youtube?

naturallysweetkandi said...

This is one of the most beautiful things I read and so true