Sunday, August 16, 2009

Being Childlike, A Necessary Key for Success

When I was a little girl, I remember this assignment our second grade teacher gave us. She told us to write a story about losing a pet. She asked us to tell how we felt and what we would do. I remember that we did not work in groups and we all wrote our own little essays. Invariably, the majority of us stated that we would get another dog.

I will never forget what she said. "Most of you just said you would get another dog. None of you talked about how sad you were about losing the first dog that you had. You all just said you would get another dog." I remember feeling like she disapproved.

I remember feeling disappointed, guilty or that I had somehow disappointed the teacher by not feeling sad or holding onto the sadness of the loss of the pet. I felt bad because I too had said that I would get another pet. In retrospect, it was the teacher whose action was disappointing.

Instead of realizing and being awed by the children's resiliency, their ability to bounce back and to move on and to continue to enjoy life, she was bothered by our inability to hold on, to continue to grieve, to not be able to let go or move on. She had the problem, not us.
She had lost her ability to be childlike.

This segues into, or transitions perfectly into following and pursuing our dreams. I never understood the exercise, "If you knew you only had a limited time to live, what would you do? Whatever you would chose to do, is what you should be doing with your life right now."

What? I used to get so angry and exasperated by what I thought to be a stupid, stupid, frustrating exercise. I would always say that I'd quit my job and go to the beach and die. How in the heck does that help me pursue my dreams?

Then I had an epiphany, an aha! moment. My reaction to this question and exercise was no different than the reaction the teacher had to her class when she was disappointed with us when we said we would move on and just get another pet.

I too had lost my ability to be childlike.

Huh? What do I mean? How does losing a pet and moving on relate to my inability to see the value of this exercise? Well, because the whole point of the dying exercise is to tell you and to show you that you should be trying to create your dream life right now, today, at this moment. It should not be something that you aspire to do someday. Your dream or ideal life is something that you should be working toward, conciously on a daily basis.

In order to do this, you need to know the destination, what that life looks and feels like, as well as have the faith to work on something that is heretofore unseen, and only imagined or envisaged in your HEAD. In order to put time, energy and effort into something that has not yet manifested and is unseen, you must have faith and belief in that what you are working toward WILL SOMEDAY come to fruition and manifest and be touchable, see-able and live-able in the real world, your world.

In order to do that, you must be childlike in your outlook and in your belief and in your faith. So, that exercise is not lacking, I was lacking in my perception. I couldn't or didn't "get" the exercise because I had somehow become like that teacher that had lost her way, as well. Everyday, I work on my dream. I have written down what I want to do: my destination. I will confess that living on the beach has not changed. The only part that has changed is, the "go to die", part.

I have written out my plan. I have given it great thought and effort. Some days, I feel like I am NO WHERE near where I want to be. I will say that if I were struck dead at this moment, that I would be struck down with my dreams in progress. I will say to you ladies, that being struck down with a dream in progress is a far greater achievement than being struck down with a dream that has been deferred, put off, let go, forgotten or given up upon. Don't do it. Don't defer those dreams.

Remember, "A dream deferred is like a raisin in the sun."

Reach down and pull out that childlike, wide eyed innoncence that you used to have. Dust off that dream has been buried so long. No, I am not where I want to be. But there are so many frequent moments and days when I relish in and experience unadulterated, pure authentic JOY!

Can I go and SHOW somebody my dream in tangible terms? Some of it, but not all of it.
I am genuinely happy. I am pursuing the path that I have always wished to pursue. The end result of that leg of the journey will put me on a beach somewhere, to live, but that won't be the end of my entire journey.

When things don't go the way I want, or when I have setbacks, I don't stay mired in self pity or recrimination or regret. I get up, dust myself off and get back on my path. I deem people naysayers and ignore their comments if I determine that their feedback is nothing but 'crabs in the barrel mentality'.

I don't deem them naysayers upon examination of their criticism if I see that what they say has value, whether or not I am comfortable or like what or how they said it.In order to move from where you are today, to who you wish to be and where you wish to be in your life tomorrow, requires that you know where you are and were you wish to go. More importantly, it requires a plan to get there.

Most importantly, to get there requires that you become childlike in your belief and guard and culitivate that way of seeing and perceiving the world, including your dreams. A child is not naive and ignorant. A child possesses a way of seeing that is a gift that we give up and give away to become what we believe is "to be an adult". A childlike vision remains untainted by the heartache, misery and disappointment of those around us. Childlike vision does not allow for misery for company. Now, I believe that I truly understand the purpose and the benefit for that exercise I used to to be so frustrated by.

"If you only had six months to live, what would you do?"

I wouldn't change a thing. I would do exactly what I am doing today. Enjoying my life, moving toward my dream life, by doing an action to get there on a daily basis, no matter how small that action. That's what I am doing! I finally got it! I got it!
Start today to build that dream life that you have always wanted for yourselves. In time, your inner world will manifest and become your outer world, that you can see and touch. In the meantime, you will be enjoying the journey and your daily life.

A happy woman is a beauful woman. One with a childlike view of the world, where one forgives, forgets, gets up and moves on and has the faith to pursue and believe in her dreams no matter what is unseen and unheard, is a gloriously beautiful woman. A childlike perception or view is a necessary key to accomplishment and success. To your success and to your beauty!


jenteel said...


ChocolateOrchid said...

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Peace and blessings,