Saturday, July 4, 2009

Inoculation by Validation: Be Your Own Biggest Fan

Who doesn't feel great when you receive a compliment that seems genuine? It is only human to want to be celebrated and wanted and welcomed. This is what I define as validation. We want others to put that stamp upon us and say, "You're __________"! You fill in the blank. When it comes to beauty, words and phrases that might fill this in are ones like,"You are so beautiful! Your are gorgeous! What beautiful hair you have! Fabulous physique"!

Every one has their achilles heel, that missing scale where the skin is soft under the great, fierce dragon's belly. We all have a weakness. With us, that vulnerable entry point is our beauty. As large and as vast as America is, it is quite insulated. That is an important point that you must understand. For all its diversity, there is still a tremendous amount of homogenization that occurs within its boundaries.

During the early 1900's the school system was the medium used to indoctrinate and Americanize the influx of immigrants whose parents were of different nationalities, cultures, ethnicities and spoke different languages. The grade schools were designated as the iron cooking kettle pot authorized to melt down and homogenize the many into a soup of homogenized peoples. There are many gains and there are many loses as well.

When a mainstream is created, there will always be people and things that rest close to that mainstream ideal and those that are far from it. The closer you are to that mainstream ideal, the more likely you are to be celebrated, embraced by it and accepted by it and into it.

Be cautious, and know that a mainstram ideal is not necessarily haphazardly or accidentally created. It is often orchestrated and has a congnizant, conscientious genesis. A different way to say this is that an ideal is created on purpose, by someone or some group with a purpose. Yeah, so what? What's that got to do with you? Everything and nothing.

Everything in that you may not see what you got as being positively reflected in the mainstream. Nothing in that, it has really nothing to do with you and should have no bearing upon the validation of who you are. What do I mean?

It's not about comparing your physical beauty to someone else's beauty, to see who is the best. It's about celebrating and embracing what you have been given. It's about taking the beauty that you have been gifted with and elevating THAT beauty, your own personal beauty, to the highest echelons, or levels, that there are. You do that by loving who you are. When you do this, you will radiate a beauty that is incomparable to YOUR old self, not someone else. Pick out a woman who you think is absolutely gorgeous. You'll be able to find someone that genuinely and authentically thinks she is barely attractive. What's my point?

Not just that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Make sure that when you put your eye upon YOURSELF that the beauty you are beholding is your own beauty that you acknowledge, accept and embrace. Make sure that in the least, that the beauty you see always includes your own. When you learn how to validate your own self, your own beauty, it serves like protection.

Self validation, is the 'stamp of approval' that you provide to yourself. It is what will keep you afloat when you may feel excluded, not included and/or not celebrated. Inoculate yourself so that during those times you will be protected.

Start building your immunity today. Use self validation as your form of inoculation. When the day comes and you feel like the world, or even just that one person you so badly want to embrace and accept you doesn't embrace you, because of your inoculation- it will be just another day. It won't knock you off your feet, or take you for a loop or even put you out of circulation for a moment or a day.

An inoculated person or body, is somewhat insulated from rampant disease, no matter what form that dis-ease may take. And when you are insulated, you can extend a helping hand to fortify those around you who may have not had the opportunity or the time to build or get their 'stamp of approval' forged and made.

Be your biggest fan.
There will be many days when you will be your only fan. Don't be fooled by the seemingly harmlessness of beauty. It is not an innocuous or harmless concept. It can very easily be used as a weapon against you.
Hone your beauty and shield it with a mighty sword. Protect it at all costs. Don't let it be the entry point that someone can use against you to stop YOU in your tracks. Understand what's going on around you and use that understanding like a pole vault to get to where you got to go. Make your understanding an ally, not a hindrance or a point of weakness.

You are beautiful. When you don't know this, you are vulnerable, beatable and maleable. Self validate to inoculate.
Keep marching onward. Perhaps, when you turn to steal a glimpse into the crowd, those standing and cheering you on, you will see and recognize yourself, standing and cheering you on the loudest. Because you see, self validation creates inoculation, and in this case takes the form of YOU seeing and being- your biggest fan.

5 comments:

Home Daycare said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chicoro said...

Thanks Home Day Care. I appreciated the comment!

Amy said...

Hi Chicoro,

I would like to do an interview with you.

MrsIQ said...

Ms. Chicoro,

Truer words were never said. I have been my biggest fan for a while now, and I have to tell you, there's not much that can get to you when you know who and what you are. Thanks for putting it out there for others to take in.

Monica said...

Excellent! Very Insightful and Inspirational! Right on time, I must add!