Sunday, May 3, 2009

Beautiful but Bitter... There is no such thing!

No matter how flawless your skin, or how perfect your features or how fabulous your body, if there is any trace of bitterness, there is no way that you can ever be truly beautiful. Beauty emanates from within to without. Bitterness is not a visage contorted and distorted by rage that everyone can see. That is so obvious, most of us could work with that. Bitterness is far more insidious, treacherous, deceitful.

Bitterness comes under the guise of many things.

It's the response we have to a loved one who was taken from us, ravaged mercilessly by disease that we could do nothing about but stand and watch.

It's the response we have when we have given our love, and entrusted it to a significant other, to only have that person cheat, or not appreciate us, disrespect us.

It's the response we have when we have worked so hard for that promotion only to be overlooked and have to watch the opportunity pass to someone that you could run circles around.

It's the response we have when we've extended ourselves to help someone, and inconvenienced ourselves, because we knew it was the right thing to do, to only have others not be available or just not care, in our time of need.

Being hurt and sad and having these kinds of feelings well up inside, initially, is natural. We are human, not perfect. But wait, wait, wait!

Yet and still, you are not excused. You are accountable and responsible for what you think and what you do and how you live. It is so hard to get past those hurts and pains sometimes, but you must.

At first, it is comforting to harbor them and hold onto them. We feel justified and safe, cushioned and enveloped by them. Don't stay there too long. What is comforting today, can easily entomb you and suffocate you, tomorrow.

Everyday, try to release those little hurts. The nasty tone or words of a stranger in the street. The tossing of your package by the disgruntled office worker. The seemingly insensitive remark of a loved one.

All of these things, have absolutely nothing to do with you. They really have no bearing upon who you are. You just happened to be that or whom upon which these people and things acted. No more, no less.

It is important to be vigilant and to guard the core of who you are. Never let another's action, or the events of plain ol' L-I-F-E, the real one, not the game, no matter how unjustified it may seem, change who you are on the inside.

"I'm going to get him back. I'm not going to waste my time on folks anymore. No one helped me when I needed it. I'm not giving up my space. I hope she fails, I had to learn the hard way. Nobody gave me anything..."
and on and on it goes - the chorus of Bitterness.

You have no control over the acts of others, but you definitely have control over what you do, what you think and how you feel and live. Don't pass on bitterness like the contagion that it is.

Just like we strengthen our immune systems, so must we strengthen ourselves. Learn to cope with the good and the bad. Better yet, learn to not deem or call something or idenitify it as being either good or bad.

It just is. Accept it as such.

Pull back, make an assessment of the situation, ensure that YOU have what you need and keep moving.You see, you can never be truly beautiful if you are bitter. Bitterness takes up space and vacuums out the glow of your Soul. It leeches away the heart of the very core of your being.

The next time you want to lift that finger and point and say, "It's because of him, or her or because of it," stop and pause and take a real deep breath. Know that it is because of you and what you have decided to do and how you have decided to REACT.

Shed the bitterness, daily, bit by bit. Before you know it or realize it, it has built up. Conceit is not beauty. Haughtiness is not beauty. Arrogance is not beauty. Insensitivity to others and their needs is not beauty. These are some of the many ways that we choose to protect our very tender, vulnerable Souls and selves. But be careful, it is a disguise. They are all components of bitterness, reactions to what has happened or been done to you.

You are bigger than that. Do some dumping every day. Sit down and breath and count your blessings. Instead of cataloguing all the hurts, catalogue all that for which you are grateful.

Never subject yourselves to having your beauty qualified, "She's beautiful, but..." Instead, take the high road whenever and as best as you can. It is never easy. Often, the reward for being who we are and doing so, may escape us at the time that we do it.

Never mind the not -so -nice- person who seems to be succeeding at the expense of others. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, in their home, in their hearts and in their heads. It's not for you to know or worry about anyway.

It is time to step into the full mantle of your glorious beauty. You can't do it with the tentacles of bitterness hanging, dangling onto your coattails, though.

Don't be fooled about what bitterness is or how it should look. Every day it swipes at you, hooking its vicious claws into your tender skin. It will burrow down, just like a tick, if you are not aware. It is easiest to remove when it is just a mere spot on the surface of who you are. But once it burrows, and digs deep and festers, it is so hard to address and completely remove.

I hope that you are over here because you have committed to being beautiful, bit by bit. Release any bitterness that you may be harboring. Start today. Bitterness not only leaves a nasty taste in your mouth, it marks your face far worse than any physical scar ever will. Leave it behind today, for a more beautiful you tomorrow!


ChocolateOrchid said...

Beautiful words of wisdom.
Peace and blessings,

Naturally Beautiful said...

WOW that was beautiful.

LaQT said...

This is so right. I recently had a long-lost cousin. A lady of the streets call and ask me for a substantial amount of money. I said sure but call me when you don't need anything sometimes. She flipped out on me, she called me things that I had never even heard before. I, of course defended myself. I only spoke what I knew, but I too sad hurtful things. I felt justified because she flipped on me first. But as the weeks went by I realized that I stooped to a new low and I apologized to her even though in my heart I felt I wasn't wrong. My mother told me never apologize for something you didn't do, but I tell you, I was liberated after I apologized to her. I was supposed to be the bigger person, she was my test and I failed. My conscience wouldn't let it go. I told her I would still help her if she evr needed me to. I say all of that to completely agree with you. Never let anger and frustration lead you to become something or someone you are not. You'll regret it.