Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Life Events Will Converge: Fortify Yourself Today

Converge is defined as to tend to meet in a point or a line, incline toward each other, like lines that are not parallel. I am talking about those kinds of things that make us say, "It's just one thing after another, now what, something else, what next, I can't take anything else, I can't make it, I just can't bear something else." Ever said those words before? I know I have.

One of my many life convergence moments was a serious health diagnosis, being harassed and pushed out at a job, a dying parent, an absent spouse who was forced to stay in a foreign country apart from me due to legal issues, buying a house and having to leave my dying parent for a job in another state.

This is not to say, "My hurt and ouch is worse than yours, or yours was worse than mine." The point is that no matter who you are, life is going to happen. We will have moments of pure joy and exhaltation and moments when we feel like all we can do is go in the bathroom stall and sit and cry for a few moments or want to remain there for days and hours.

It's not what happens to you, it's what you do, how you react. If you fortify yourself today with faith, with good food and love for yourself, when something happens, as in a life event, you will be ready. Be ready for what?

It doesn't mean you won't cry. Because you will.

It doesn't mean you won't feel like giving up. Because you may want to give it. Wanting and doing are two different things.

It doesn't mean that you won't want to escape. Who wants to stay inside a house that feels like it's falling down around you and the walls are closing in around you?

It doesn't mean that you will have a smile on your face and grin and bear it. You may not. But you can throw those shoulders back and keep on stepping.

It doesn't mean that you will be able to give to others during the whole period. You may not. Or, you may be able to focus on someone else and get your mind off of you. I don't know.

What it means is that inspite of what is happening, no matter how painful the situation, no matter how difficult it is, no matter how dark it seems or how bleak and weak the light at the end of the tunnel is...or even if there doesn't seem to be ANY LIGHT at the tunnel

....If you KNOW who you are, You won't give up. It means that you won't turn on yourself and say it's your fault. You won't say you aren't worth it and you deserve to be experiencing what you are experiencing. You will not quit. You may get weary and you may get tired. But you will not quit. When you know who you are and love yourself, you will KNOW that quitting is not an option. You will know that you can and will see the light at the end of the tunnel. You know that
you will make it to that sunny side and feel the warmth of the sun on your beautiful hued skin.

There are two things that you should never forget. The first is that, life is going to happen. The second thing that you should never forget is that you are big enough and powerful enough to make it through- SUCCESSFULLY.

Fortify yourself today. Focus on yourself and your needs. Lavish yourself with authentic love and attention. Get to know who you are. Get to know you. So when life comes barrelling through skidding on two tires and tipped over like an out of control tractor truck at top speed, and just seeming to be out of control, coming at you with a noisy, stinking tire burning slide faster than you can blink, YOU WILL be ready.

Even if that truck of life takes you off the set, 'for eva', up until that point, you would have lived authentically, and fully and with no regrets. You would have fortified yourself for whatever life had or has to offer.

Start today as you never know what tomorrow will bring. It is not about living in fear of tomorrow, but living confidently, authentically, fully: BEING YOURSELF.

You will be taken care of no matter what happens. In the least, do your part and provide some of that care today, for yourself. You have all that you ever need. Keep that at the forefront of your mind. So when life converges, you can go through all the changes and say what you got to say, but you will keep on stepping and come out on the other side literally and figuratively.

For you, the convergence of life events will not be steel against fragile bones and weak flesh. It will be like iron and fire. You will be fortified and better than before, a magnificent sword that is formed and worked by the fire of the convergence of life events, only to be made unbreakable as you cool down and work your way through it.

Magnificence and might, that is what true beauty is all about. Strength comes bit by bit. Beautify yourselves bit by bit. Embrace who you are and you'll make it through.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I've Got Nothing To Give - Ahm...Oh Yes You Do!

Saturday I was headed to the dump with my husband. We stopped in the gas station because my vehicle was on "E" for empty. I took my cash money and went inside to pay. As I was coming out I saw these two people get out of their vehicle. They looked disheveled and then I recognized the zig zag saunter of somebody drunk or high or both.

As an aside, drunk people are frightening to me. They make me very uncomfortable to the point of being afraid of them. I don't find them amusing or comical like many people do. As I motioned to my husband that he could begin to pump, I inadvertently caught the attention of said drunk person. Uh oh! She was making a beeline toward me. I swallowed and tried to figure out how to avoid her, to escape. It was too late.

She started talking and I wanted to keep going so badly, to ignore her to act as if I didn't hear her. Then she spun on her heels and faced me. Reluctantly, I turned to face her.

She said,"I deserve to get messed up [high/drunk]. I earned this. I need to do something for myself. I got my check yesterday and I just did my daughter's hair..."

When she said hair, ya'll know my eyes lit up. My fear just dissipated. I said, "It looked pretty, too, I bet."

She then reached for her own head and suddenly became remorseful and deeply saddened. She said," I know I look bad. My hair is a mess. My teeth are falling out." She placed her hand over her mouth and dropped her eyes and her shoulders, shamefully.

I lifted her chin and looked at her ebony colored face and suddenly the drunk woman disappeared. In her place I saw a Black woman with flawlessly beautiful skin and a tattered, injured and bleeding soul. The liquor that permeated her skin and had assailed my nose just moments before was now long forgotten. What knocked me back an indiscernable physical step was the palpable pain oozing from her very Soul. I could feel it.

She said, "I am so ugly but my baby is not. They are trying to take my baby from me."

I told her, "You are beautiful."

Then she started to sob. She fell toward me and into my arms. Let me remind you that we are in the MIDDLE of the gas station parking lot. That place between the pumps and the storefront where cars drive through to park when they are not getting gas.

I said, "Let's pray and began to say a well known prayer." At first I thought she was mocking me as she was adding words that were not part of the prayer. Then I realized that it was a merely difference in religion, the bulk of or spoken words was exactly the same. We said, "Amen," together.

She thanked me and told that everybody needed something sometime.
I got in the car and dropped my chin to my chest, feeling defeated and overwhelmed. I told my husband, "I wish I could have done something for her. She is in such pain."My husband looked forward and said quietly,"You gave her what you had, a hug and a word of encouragement. That is what she needed. She even told you so."
I had completely missed this. What someone may need may not be what you are used to giving. What they may need from you, what you may be able to give, may not even be something that yourself perceive as valuable. Never undersestimate who you are, or what you have to give or to offer. You never know whose life you will touch. Who you will help to hold on for just one more moment longer, who you will help make it through the night.
Even if you come 'naked to the feast', with nothing to offer but yourself, you can feed and nourish others more than any main dish ever could or ever will. We are all connected and even if you don't have two nickels to rub together, just because you are YOU, you will always have something to give.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Shift Your Thinking and You Will Shift Your World

There are things in this world which are probable, meaning perhaps they can happen, but it is unlikely that they will happen. There are things in this world that are possible, and they can happen and are likely to happen. Come here and let me tell you a secret....

In this world, YOU can never really know whether something is unlikely or likely to happen. Two events come to mind for me: the running of a mile under four (4) minutes by Roger Bannister and the election of a Black President.

If you want something, let the world tell you it is not possible, but please don't tell yourself that. You have absolutely no Earthly idea what your capabilities are until you are in that situation.

Put your name in the Universal hat. If you are not in the game, you have no chance to win. How do you get your name in the hat? Put your intention out to the world, fold it into your heart, put it at the forefront of your mind. Write it down, keep it in front of you in your purse, on your mirror, in a special book, and take one action every day that relates to that intention or goal. Think about how you can accomplish it upon arising. Give it to your subconscious upon retiring for bed. Your subconscious needs material...to whisper the answer in your ear like a tender lover, when you least expect it!

The mere fact that you are taking action toward that goal indicates that a shift has ocurred. When you DECIDE on a goal and DECIDE to take an action toward it, you have SHIFTED your thinking. When you shift your thinking, you then enable yourself to SHIFT your actions. When you SHIFT your actions, you eventually SHIFT your world. All those shifts will definitely put you in a different space and place. Why not get there INTENTIONALLY?

Jaime Foxx's Living Color character called Wanda, had one thing right in my opinon. Because she believed it, and said it, "I will rock your world," sometimes with conviction and sometimes without it, eventually it was going to happen. If you think about, she did rock the worlds of all the men she encountered. Maybe not in the way she intended, but there was a shift for them.

You are neither ugly nor need to act 'unintentionally'. No need to rock a man's world. Baby, go rock your own world FIRST. The power to do so is in your hands.

Shift your thinking and you WILL shift your world and eventually, somebody else's, too.